It's About The Human Condition

Where you put it for

I’ve been trying to get into a good routine since before my performance and now that I’m done with that I’m still trying to get it together. I’ve got a nice skin care routine with I think more parts than I have fingers. Maybe less in the mornings but still its a lot. I did have this smoothie thing going on for a minute but that kind of ebbs and flows depending on when I can get to the grocery store. I let the cats in or out depending on where they were the night before. I’ve got a pdf version of this German book I think is going to be a big part of my work in the next year. Its something I was supposed to read as an undergrad and didn’t because I was very depressed with my circumstance. I am still very depressed with my circumstance I guess I just move the energy around a little better. I don’t really know how I feel about its connection to my past. In that grand way that we exist in cycles maybe its a sign, possibly one of renewal, the book itself is not that however, its very tedious. That is also how life feels here. I will eventually leave this place, I think its part of my work ethic and a blessing that I can make the things I want happen and at least so far the sliver of doubt is just that. The hesitation could kill me. I felt it for real a while ago, not death but the pursuit embodied in a dog off its leash coming to bite me, this time for the second time. I punched it in the head very hard. It still barks at me and both my hands hurt independently of one another. I don’t have forever, that is very clear. And this is the time of year for reflection. the Gregorian calendar being a construct the time, as the longest night approaches. Cycles. All that jazz as was said. I’m making venison stroganoff tonight. It’s Russian, I would have guessed German as well, but hey, can’t be right all the time.